We’ve all come out of bad relationships before, where we’ve really resented the other party for ditching us. And one piece of advise you’ll always hear is: “Happiness is the best revenge.”
The concept being, if you move on in your life and find someone to cherish and love that also loves you back, you’ll be getting back at your ex because now you’ve got everything they denied you.
Well that’s nice and all, but that’s not really getting back at them, is it? Unless that new person is someone you can rub in your ex’s face, like your ex’s most-recent current, or their sibling/parent etc… Kinda like in this hilarious short film:
The problem is, having sex with your ex’s parent isn’t always a viable option, for a whole variety of reasons.
Another option is to boil their pet rabbit, or stalk and then try to kill them while repeatedly yelling “You love me, I know it!”… but that’s kinda psychotic.
But the method I think works best, is to do what people like Taylor Swift and Avril Lavigne have done, which is to get insanely famous and then writing a hit single about what they missed out on.
Because what is success if it’s not being rubbed in the face of your ex, right? How happy could one be without having indulged in some vindictive behavior? Wouldn’t it be so much better if millions of people in the world heard the story about what an asshole/bitch your ex was?
Taylor Swift’s song is the more passive example, with a more cheerful tune and relatively innocent lyrics. But the spiteful message is still there, and that’s Swift saying: “I’ve got six Grammy Awards, and you’re still just an angry moron in a small town.”
Avril Lavigne doesn’t really try to hide the spite in this song at all. It’s kinda disguised in the sense that the gender of the characters in the song have been switched around, but who is she kidding? It’s pretty obvious that somewhere along the line, Avril was dumped by some guy who had a problem with her baggy clothes.
A setback that might keep regular people from achieving this kind of pop star success is that you generally have to be quite attractive to do so… or at least be able to sing. But if you can write well, that shouldn’t stop you at all! Look at what Scott Neustadter and Michael Weber did with (500) Days of Summer:
That’s right, you could just write and sell a screenplay that does the same thing!
You know, this whole concept doesn’t necessarily have to be restricted to ex’s. It could be applied to anybody that has wronged you in the past, really. It could be that teacher that never believed in you, your ex-boss that rode on your coattails without any appreciation, or that guy who created a Facebook photo album entitled “People I don’t like a lot” and then put your profile pic in it.
If you work hard, then someday you’ll get a chance to really rub their faces in shit. Until then, tomorrow is another day.
Buuuuuuuuut, like what that quote from American History X says:
“Life’s too short to be pissed off all the time.”