When I was working at Carousell, I did a lot of research into this tidying guru named Marie Kondo. You might have heard of her and the KonMari method of tidying before.
KonMari might write a lot of weird stuff about talking to your clothes and touching stuff to see if they “spark joy” but there is a lot of truth in her method. If you keep your life tidy, you’re able to focus on the things you really want out of life.
And I’ve come to learn that this isn’t exclusive to clothes and old books; it works for your social media friends list too!
I used to have this person as a friend on Facebook. Let’s call him Dan.
The story of Dan
Dan was a connection I made through work. We aren’t in the same company but our paths often cross.
Through mutual friends and colleagues, I’ve heard some less than stellar things about Dan’s attitude and treatment of people. After reading his posts on Facebook, it’s not hard to join the dots to realize he’s a bit unstable and in his perception, you’re either 100 percent with him or you’re against him (joy).
But I kept him as a Facebook friend because you never know when your work paths might cross again and maybe his help might be needed.
So for years I was extra careful not to offend him. I’d watch what I post and heavily censor my comments on the posts of mutual friends.
Then one day, someone offended him (probably unintentionally) and he snapped back at that person. I really thought it was some kind of misunderstanding, so I chimed in to maybe defuse the situation.
I became the next target.
So he’s raining fire on me, and I’m trying explain that I’m not siding against him or anything, and even outright apologize for offending him – not surprisingly it falls on deaf ears.
Long story short, he goes nuts and unfriends me.
At first I was taken aback by the complete failure to communicate. But after a while, life went on.
Life after Dan
In fact, life got better. I can just focus on keeping in touch with the people that matter, and not have to worry about offending some over-sensitive person. After all, I come to social media to de-stress.
I thought this connection might come in useful, but it never did. It’s really just like that ugly but expensive shirt in your wardrobe that you might need someday, but would never wear if you can help it.
If it doesn’t spark joy, just toss it!
So thanks for unfriending me, Dan. I honestly wouldn’t have taken that step myself, but it’s good that you did.