I figured out what dubstep sounds like the other day. After hearing vague descriptions that range from “wubwubwub” to “a dial-up modem having sex with a fax machine”, I came across the trailer to the new remake of Syndicate, which features a new version of the videogame’s theme by Skrillex (the first time I heard that name, I thought it was the brand name of a dishwashing detergent).
Back in the 1994 original, it sounded like this:
Now I’m not going to rant about taking the name of a beloved strategy videogame from my childhood and then pasting it over a modern FPS that looks nothing like the original game – well, maybe I’ll put that in a later post when I actually give the new game a shot.
I loved this game back in the day
However, the new music did affect me a little. I’m not going to say I hated it, because I do kinda like it and it did get me to go and look up other Skrillex tracks. What it did do, was to remind me of how much I love the old soundtracks by Russell Shaw. So this morning, I loaded up the soundtrack from Syndicate Wars (1996) into my phone, and listened to it while commuting to work this morning. Basically, it sounds like this:
I wrote a post a few days ago about soundtracks affecting your life. Trust me, when you walk around with this music plugged into your ears, it makes the whole world around you change. It doesn’t matter if you’re walking around a dark alley at night, riding a subway train, or crossing the road in broad daylight; you will feel paranoid from the tense atmosphere.
The people on the train are glancing at you, hoping that you don’t do anything to step out of line and attract the attention of the hive-mind. That girl chatting on her phone? She’s actually a cybernetic sleeper agent, designed to monitor you and erase you if you display signs of independent thought. It’s a scary world out there.
Think she's just chatting on her phone? She's actually a cybernetic sleeper agent sent to watch you. Photo source: 123RF
Anyway, if you haven’t tried it before, take the Syndicate Wars soundtrack out with you, and plug that shit into your ears. It will change your perception of the world like this:
Last night I went with my family to see Wicked at the Marina Bay Sands Theater. Now, I’m really not much of a musical guy; I think it’s kinda silly for characters to burst into song every five minutes. But my wife is into musicals, so I’ve been with her to maybe like a handful of musicals. Usually when I go in I just hope that the story will be somewhat enjoyable and that I might recognize maybe one or two songs.
Wicked was no different, because I don’t really know anything about it. I know it’s like some kinda prequel story about the two witches from The Wizard of Oz, and that’s about the extent of my knowledge of it.
So imagine my surprise when at the end of the first act, the two witches started singing Defying Gravity… and the first thing to pop into my head was: “Isn’t this the song in Glee when Kurt deliberately blew the high F?”
This would surprise most of my friends, because I’m pretty vocal about my dislike of Glee. Characters like Finn, Mercedes, and Artie annoy the crap out of me (Artie most of all), and I’ve suffered eyestrain from rolling my eyes whenever my wife and her friend Des talk about Glee and giggle repeatedly. Despite this, I’m somewhat familiar with the first season of the show, because my wife would hijack the TV to watch it while I pathetically held onto my Xbox controller in denial. Then I also went ahead and bought the Glee soundtrack for the wifey, and it became the only CD that would be played in our car whenever she was in it.
But despite all my resentment towards the show, I found one shining light in it: Chris Colfer as Kurt. This guy has an amazing voice, and the story arc about his homosexuality and his relationship with his father was one of the better stories I’ve seen on TV recently. I really couldn’t bring myself to give a crap about the Finn/Puck/Quinn story, or even the Will/Terri/Emma thing, but I was really drawn into Kurt’s story arcs. The guy gets bullied a lot, but never hides his identity or sexuality. The one big shining moment in Glee, in my opinion, was when Kurt deliberately blew the high F because of his love for his dad.
Kurt sings Defying Gravity
So yeah, Wicked turned out to be the origin of the song from my favorite moment of Glee.
But beyond the Glee flashback, I actually really enjoyed the story of Wicked, mainly due to the Elphaba character. If it’s one basic storyline that I can never get sick of, it’s the one that involves misunderstood outcasts. If a movie involves someone that’s a fish out of water trying to find his way, I’ll probably fork out money to see it. I can’t help it, because I love characters like Mary Stuart Masterson’s in Some Kind of Wonderful, Stitch from Lilo and Stitch, and now Elphaba.
Idina Menzel - the original Elphaba
If you’re not familiar with the Wicked story, basically it’s about the Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, who due to her green skin, is shunned by her father, her classmates, and basically everyone. Eventually, her different views and desire to save the animals of Oz cause her to be demonized as “the Wicked Witch of the West” by the propaganda of a corrupt government.
The fact that I am so fond of these stories and characters probably says something about my childhood, but I’m not sure what that could be.
Anyway, I’ve been on quite the “Defy Gravity” trip today, and I’ve kinda listened to the Idina Menzel/Kristin Chenoweth version on repeat all day at work. Occasionally, I’d pop on the Lea Michelle and Chris Colfer versions too. Here’s a question, which Glee cover do you think sounds better? The Lea Michelle version, or the Chris Colfer version?
I’m leaning towards the Chris Colfer version, but that’s because I think Kurt’s awesome. If they picked him to play Elphaba in the upcoming movie, I’d go see it for sure.
Here’s a quick post. After my borderline homoerotic post about David Boreanaz, I figured out that a lot of other people out there are fond of the big guy too. If you’re one of them, you might be interested in this Tumblr that I stumbled across, where a cardboard standee of Angel goes out and has a whole bunch of adventures!
I think movie soundtracks are really important. The right song can really dictate a scene; change it and the same scene will have a completely different vibe altogether. I’m plugged into my music for most of the day, so I think the same applies to soundtracks for life.
With movie soundtracks, choosing the right song is a two-way situation: you choose a song that suits the scene’s mood, but at the same time the song can also alter the mood. It’s the same with life soundtracks, because the music can influence how you feel and the things you do. For example, if Hans Zimmer wrote the soundtrack to your life, you’d probably be doing epic things every day. If it was by the Cure, you’d be an emotional wreck, probably spending most of your time writing poetry in your room, with the rain constantly beating on your window.
So when I was thinking about who I’d want to compose the soundtrack of my life, I also had to think about what kind of life I wanted to lead.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with I am Robot and Proud (which is probably 99% of you), he’s a Canadian musician who makes these awesome electronic songs that are obviously synthesized, yet have a really organic and dreamlike feel to them. I dunno, I guess they also kinda remind me of the midi-powered videogame tunes from my 90′s childhood – and I just love those tunes.
Anyway, imagine commuting to work with this song going on in the background:
Or waking up and doing your daily morning routines to this:
I could easily do my chores to this:
Imagine spending time with a book and your dog with this song going:
Shaw-Han Liem, aka I am Robot and Proud
After hearing this tunes, you’ve probably got a fair idea of what I am Robot and Proud’s music is like. So why did I single this artist out to represent the soundtrack of my life? Because that’s how I’d want my life to be like. There’s a sense of innocence in his music, and that’s what I’d like my life to be like. Nothing too exciting – just simple pleasures and calming vibes.
I’m not the kinda guy that enjoys hard partying and drinking, and while I do enjoy more heart-racing activities like videogames and skating, I don’t need to constantly feel an adrenaline rush either. I’m perfectly happy lying on the floor with my dog, or watching a DVD with my wife.
And I am Robot and Proud is the ideal soundtrack for that type of lifestyle!
Who would you get to write the soundtrack to your life?
PS If you liked what you heard from I am Robot and Proud, please visit his website!
Linda Cardellini isn’t exactly a household name, but you probably know her as that actress who played Velma in the Scooby Doo movie. She played the dorky part pretty convincingly, but did you also know that she can be pretty damn sexy when she’s not, well, playing Velma in a Scooby Doo movie.
Linda Cardellini as the dorky Velma
Anyway, check out one of my favorite bits from Grandma’s Boy (a highly underrated movie that you should watch if you haven’t already done so).
Yeah this was kinda random, but Salt-N-Pepa came up on my iTunes and this was the first thing to pop into my head.
A common theme in TV shows and movies is a bunch of relatives or friends that appear out of nowhere, completely uninvited, and crash your home or holiday, and basically ruining things for everyone. Hollywood feel-good endings would have it that the sensible group and the outrageous group eventually settle their differences and become good friends, but in the really real world, things don’t work out like that.
Of course, in the really real world, cousin Eddie and his in-bred family don’t really appear out of nowhere to ruin your day either, but what you tend to get are annoying colleagues or classmates that will tag along when you go for lunch.
Everyone has a cousin Eddie in their lives
This stuff happens all the time at school, because school is just about the clique-iest place you can find. You’re trying to hang with the cool kids or your cooler friends, but there will be this one idiot that tags along and instantly reduces your median coolness with his/her presence.
You’d think that by the time we leave school, we’d have matured enough to also leave these lunchtime antics behind. Sadly, I think this is rarely the case, because there will still be someone that you and your fellow colleagues will try to avoid. But it’s not about trying to be cool or cultivating an image anymore: your lunch-break is your one time of the day to relax and chill out, and the last thing you want is to babysit the office asshole.
The cousin Eddie of the workplace is not the kid who is uncool, or collects Pokemon or anything like that. He/she is the irritating know-it-all who has to hijack every conversation, and try brag and boast as much as possible to force themselves into the center of attention. He/she is the type that scams food from everyone, without ever offering some of their own food to the communal pot. He/she will basically drive everyone mad, restrict your lunchtime conversations (after all, you can’t bitch about the office asshole when he/she is right there), and make lunch a terrible ordeal for everybody.
But the worst trait of the workplace cousin Eddie is still the same as the schoolyard variant: he/she will have their head so far up their own asses that they will not realize that you do not want them to eat with you.
Try to sneak off without them, give them shit, don’t initiate conversation with them… do what you want, but like a terminator, they will keep coming back and they will always find you.
For the past two years, I’ve had the benefit of working in places where I’ve adored everyone and not have to deal with this crap. I guess the great balance of life has come to bite me in the ass, because in my current workplace, I don’t have just one but two cousin Eddies that always tag along uninvited for lunch.
These two are like carbon copies of one another: obnoxious know-it-all nerds who brag and brag all the time, even when it’s not really their shit to brag about. I mean, do I really care if your dad knew Steve Jobs and was invited to his funeral? It’s not like you knew him yourself. Do I really want to hear about what your erroneous opinions on what stereoscopy is? No, and I’ll give you a clue, asshole… it’s got nothing to do with motion capture! And do I really want your condescending criticisms of my work when quite frankly, my work gets approved more often than yours?
I remembered fun lunchtimes at my previous workplaces when my colleagues and I would bitch about movies, relationship issues and so forth. This is what my lunch times are like these days:
Int. cafeteria – day
There is an awkward silence as a group of colleagues eat their lunch quietly. Some of them exchange uncomfortable glances at each other.
Cousin Eddie #1: “You know, this soup would taste better if they’d used lettuce instead of cabbage. I make good soup.” Cousin Eddie #2: “I make good soup too. I’ve been told I’m the soup master.”
More awkward silence.
Having lunch with these guys is such an ordeal. When they get started, it becomes like two nerds comparing cock sizes. And believe me, there’s nothing more unappealing than two overweight nerds comparing their cock sizes.
We had an impromptu meeting the other day to figure out how we’re going to avoid them. Today, we’ll try sneaking out of the office one by one, without the usual gathering at someone’s desk to head out together. I hope it works!
If it doesn’t, do you guys have any suggestions on how to avoid our cousin Eddies?
PS One of my colleagues pointed me to a song that sums up how we feel about them. It’s Sarah Bareilles (who also did that song that wife loves to sing on our Xbox karaoke game), and it’s called King of Anything.
