This week’s Daily Post Challenge is to use metaphor and simile in a post, so I figured I’d take the chance to write about my dog and some perpetually single friends. If you’re interested in trying out this weekly challenge, check it out here.

The other day I was walking my dog Sonic, and he started sniffing at this tree for the longest time. He didn’t lift his leg and mark his territory or anything; he just paced around it sniffing every inch of that tree.

I got a bit impatient after a while and tugged at his leash to hurry him up. Yet he held his ground and continued sniffing at the tree as if he wasn’t sure if he wanted to pee on the tree or not.

Sonic likes peeing. Look how happy he is when he pees!

In the meantime, the tree didn’t take any notice of us. Not one branch shifted, not a single leaf rustled. If it was even the slightest bit fearful of being the recipient of a golden shower, it didn’t show it.

So there I was standing on the side of the road with an indecisive dog hesitant over a tree that was oblivious to the trouble it was causing us, when it struck me that I’ve seen this behavior before…

How many times have you seen someone friendzone themselves by continually going out with a person without ever expressing any desire for romance?

My design for the Friendzone Couple t-shirts

When you see a friend just sniffing around his/her crush without even lifting a leg to try and stake a claim, you can’t exactly blame the crush for not reading your friend’s mind and making the first move. You can’t be angry at the crush when he/she breaks your friend’s heart by going out with someone else.

All you can do is to try to convince them to either make a move, or move on. It’s just incredibly frustrating when they don’t listen.

So back to my indecisive dog and the tree. After seven minutes of standing in the hot sun next to the tree, my patience finally wore thin. I know there’s a saying that you should stop once in a while and “smell the roses” but I don’t think it applies to smelling some other dog’s stale pee.

I barked at him to “pee or get off the tree!” and then he walked away from the tree, went a few meters down the road and proceeded to swiftly squirt his golden offerings onto a car.

He never once looked back at the tree.

That’s no longer an unmarked car


About Drew

I love videogames, movies, my wife and my dog (in no particular order).

8 responses »

  1. letizia says:

    hahaha, great metaphor!

  2. zezil says:

    Lols…but somehow, it hurts….KIDDING! Haha. Super Sonic! 🙂

  3. It’s hard for dogs to commit to peeing on just one tree. I’m not sure they’re genetically programmed for pee target monogamy.

  4. […] Pops wrote this post about me taking my time when peeing on trees. That’s a bit true, but don’t you think […]

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