Your parents, especially your mother, are supposed to be people that you can absolutely trust… but I lost my sense of trust in my mother a long time ago. Like, I think I stopped trusting my mom before I hit puberty.
You see, I have Asian parents, and one thing about Asian culture is they love to eat weird stuff. WEIRD stuff. If it looks bad, smells bad, or hurts your mouth to eat, then Asians will be all over that like cops in a donut shop.
Somehow, the “need to eat crap” gene must’ve skipped a generation because my siblings and I absolutely loathe that stuff. However, that hasn’t stopped my mom from trying to feed us that stuff.
I remember as a kid, she’d prepare these foul-smelling herbal teas for us. I can’t remember what it is, but it was probably made from boiling ginseng, bird spit and fermented horse piss together. But because it was black in color, she’d tell us that it was Coca Cola.
And I must admit, I fell for it the first couple of times. But later on, it was only my fear of absolute parental authority that made me continue drinking that stuff while I gagged and turned blue.
Let’s face it, kids aren’t stupid. We noticed the subtle differences after a while, like the lack of fizz and you know, the FUCKING HORRIBLE SMELL. To continually treat us like idiots served only to widen the relationship gap between parent and child. Once I became a teenager and discovered the joy of rebelliousness, you can bet that shit went down the sink when she wasn’t looking.
It wasn’t just funky herbal teas that my mom would try to trick us with… it was weird intestines and other stuff, which she’d just describe as “mystery meat” or something, and foul-smelling fruits which she’d say was candy.
I’m not the only one that’s been the victim of such lies. My colleague was telling me that his mom used to trick him into eating frogs’ legs by telling him it was turkey!
So really, after all those condescending lies, am we really supposed to believe everything our moms say at face value?