I used to work in a video rental store, and at the end of a long shift, the last thing you want is to hang around while some indecisive customer keeps pacing up and down the shelves, unaware that you’re trying to close the store and go home.
I figured out a way to speed up their video-choosing process when it came to closing time at 10:30pm, and that was to switch off the non-essential lights (not a strong enough sign on its own) and then pipe some eerie music through the sound system. The resulting creepiness usually unnerves people and gets them out of the store without any pestering or confrontations… because nobody wants to bump into a pair of creepy little girls while browsing a video store at night.
Okay, here are the tunes I used:
I kicked off my “Get out” mix CD with something subtle in the form of The Postal Service. It’s not a creepy song, but if anyone listened to the lyrics, they’ll realize how unhappy I was that I’m still stuck there at night and maybe take some pity on me.
But nobody ever listens to the lyrics, so it usually leads onto the next track.
Nothing like some Satanic chanting to just get those hairs on the back of your neck standing, huh? If you know the customers I had in that store, then you’ll know that almost nobody gets the Omen reference.
But there are some people that are resistant to choir music, so it’s onto the next track.
I LOVE the Ghost in the Shell soundtrack and listen to it for inspiration all the time… but there’s no doubt that these eerie chimes and shit are kinda creepy in a dark and deserted video store at night.
It’ll be about 10:45pm by this point, and if they’re still not out of the store yet, there’s always the next one:
The good old Syndicate Wars soundtrack. It’s just weird, it’s demented, and this track pretty much lasts until 11pm – at which point I’ll just go nuts and chase them out with a broom anyway.
Now the problem with subtly chasing people out of the store like this is that while I’ll be able to get home on time, sometimes the creepy music stays in my head and I won’t be able to sleep anyway.
BONUS: While scoping around for The Omen soundtrack on YouTube, I stumbled across this heavy metal version of Ave Satani!