I was reading this post about hearing one’s neighbors having sex, and it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, we might’ve been one of those neighbors at one point or another. Well, I know my sister’s heard my wife and I at least once, when she was sleeping in the opposite room. That was awkward…
The thing is, the noises you make during sex is like snoring – you yourself can never know how loud you are because you can’t hear yourself. The only thing you could do is to set up some kinda recorder outside your door, but that’s just kinda weird.
So what can you do? Sex is mostly a private affair (unless it involves cameras and/or public locations), so that means it’s just meant for the couple (or group) involved, so the noise has to go down. As a responsible neighbor, are you supposed to muffle and censor yourself? Do it silently, like some ninjas? But that does take a lot of the fun and passion out of it, right? Some people are self-conscious enough about how their naked bodies look, and to add their noise levels into the mix would totally turn them off sex altogether. And that’s just not a very nice thing to do.
What exactly then is the socially acceptable standard for noises during sex? Soft moaning? Like light pillow-muffled screams?Is there a chapter in the housing development handbook that deals with these standards?
Or maybe people should just be allowed to fuck like volcanoes, and to hell with their neighbors?
Side note: Remember this classic scene from Forrest Gump?