Something that bugs me a lot are those friends who pretty much only show up when they’ve got something going on in Facebook or something. You know what I mean, right?
- “Come vote for me in this contest.”
- “Help me by Liking this.”
- “Share my blog with your friends.”
- “Write me a Recommendation in LinkedIn.”
And most of the time, you’ll help out, because that’s what friends do. You don’t exactly go over and think to yourself “Does this deserve a Like? Is it really the best entry in the contest?”, do you?
It’s not like I’m absolutely bored on the Internet with nothing to do, but if it’s going to take a few minutes and it’ll help someone out, I’m going to try to spare that few minutes.
Have you ever received one of these?
That’s all good, but what bugs me is what happens when it’s the other way around. They don’t visit your stuff. They don’t Like your status updates, let alone Share them. They basically don’t return any of the favors you did for them, because you know, they’re too busy with other stuff.
Why? What makes your stuff so much more imperative than my stuff? Why do you think you are more worthy of time than I am?
This sort of behavior is nothing new, really. It wasn’t invented by the Internet, and people have been fair-weather friends since the beginning of time. Just ask Jesus about his “good pal” Judas.
I don’t really like the term “fair-weather friends” though. It’s just a bit of a mouthful. Even Dr Dre had some difficulty fitting it into a rhyme. (Jump to the 6:28 mark for the line)
Instead, I like to refer to victims of fair-weather friends as Filler Bunnies.
The term originates from a concept that comic artist Jhonen Vasquez came up with. When he was short of a page for an issue of his comic, he’d fill it with this character called the Filler Bunny, a badly-drawn bunny whose sole existence was just to fill up space.
And don’t you feel just like that sometimes?
I first thought of the Filler Bunny because I had a friend who was crushing on this girl who treated him like dirt. Any time she calls, it’s because she’s got a gap in her schedule between two appointments in the city… so she’d ask him to go all the way into the city and meet her so she won’t be bored for two hours while waiting for the friend she’d rather be hanging out with.
Whenever he asked her out, she’d already got plans. If he called to chat, she’d be busy washing her hair.
Thankfully, she’s faded away from his life, never to be heard from again… though I still think of her whenever I’m creating a cold-hearted bitch for a story, or if I’m trying to visualize Estella from Great Expectations.
Anyway, I criticized him for being a Filler Bunny then, and it’ll be highly hypocritical of me to go on and become one myself.
So NO, I won’t click on your link and I’m not going to listen to your podcast… I’m too busy washing my hair.
Do you have any friends that make you feel like a Filler Bunny? If so, share some of your horror stories!
If you’ve realized that you’re treating someone like a Filler Bunny, please pretty please, go and change that. Drop them a text or something, and remind them that they’re not unworthy of your time.
In the meantime, here are some Filler Bunny comics because they’re pointlessly hilarious! Click on them for a larger size, unless you have microscopes for eyes.
Update: How could I have forgotten to include this song?
Drew's Soapbox 
Great post! Does everyone reading it feel a bit like a filler bunny, like me? 😦 I try to be a good friend…but sometimes I know I fall short. I’m with you though, I hate to be treated that way, so I’ll try and do better. What gets me are those people who tell you there going to do something, meet you somewhere or whatever, and NEVER make it. Yeah, let’s do lunch Tuesday…let’s go to the movies Friday…and none of that occurs. I am impatient and tend to drop those so called friends on their arse! I don’t have time to be stood up…hahaha. Ok, off my soap box, sorry. 🙂
No I totally agree. I know I’m not always an incredibly pro-active when it comes to making plans, but that’s because I am a hermit and not because I don’t want to see my friends or anything.
But for those people that only contact you when they need something… it’s definitely better to not help them, and use the time you would’ve wasted on them to spend with real friends instead.
I’m with you! I’d rather have a few really good friends than a bunch of “good for nothing, non-reliable, so called friends”. 🙂
Quality over quantity!
Hurray for filler bunnies! Well, the comic ones, anyway. Almost as distasteful are the posts you read that end with, “Like the blog? Buy the book.” I like the blog, but now I definitely will NEVER buy the book. However, you, Drew, can ask me for a rec any time!
Thank for you very much! I actually did get two books like this before. One was Kevin Smith’s book about his life, and it literally is just his blog posts collated into a book. Another was Shit My Dad Says, and it was mostly just the tweets, and it takes like 2 hours to finish reading it.
It just doesn’t give me a good impression of books based on blogs.
Dear Abby–oh I meant Drew,
I have a friend who has joined an online search for aspiring Filipino singers and he has been recently chosen as one of the six finalists. Each of the finalists will have to promote their own music video and Friend asked me to help him market his and gain Facebook likes. I, of course, want to help out and actually offered to help him because the guy’s got talent and I’m not saying that just because he’s my friend. I’m also aware of the fact that some people just turn their nose up on this Facebook thingy.
I have Facebook friends who are vocal about not wanting to receive messages like “Help me (or my friend) by Liking this” and I respect that, so rest assured I won’t be sending anything like that to them. I still want to help out by sending my friend’s link to others who might be interested, but instead of forcing them to like it I am thinking of politely asking them to take time to watch the video and see if my friend deserves a ‘like’ from them.
Do….you think that’s better? 🙂
–Most supportive friend ever
I honestly don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking someone to help you “Like” things on Facebook. But I think that by expecting others to help you, you have to be willing to help others. It really only bothers me when the favors aren’t returned because they’re “too busy” when it’s their turn to click Like.
Never thought of it this way but, yes, I do know people that make me feel like a Filler Bunny. Something must be done! (GREAT POST!)
Much like your sock drawer, your friends list must be filtered and refreshed every now and then!
That’s a wise saying and one to remember as I tend to hold onto my socks for years, until they are more hole than sock, and thread-bare and…
…a pretty good analogy for some friendships ><
That reminds me of this Liz Phair song:
Haha…this post reminds me a time I did not see a friend for two years and she decides to call me because she needed a ride somewhere…the nerve!
Wow! That’s incredibly shameless hahahaha! What a user!!!